The aim of this article is to reveal how family members act, react and reason when their elderly relative considers relocation to a residential home. Since family members are usually involved in the logistics of their elderly relative's relocation, yet simultaneously expected not to influence the decision, the focus is on how family members experience participation in the relocation process in a Swedish context. 17 family members are included in 27 open, semi-structured interviews and follow-up contacts. Prominent features in the findings are firstly the family members' ambition to tone down their personal opinions, even though in their minds their personal preferences are clear, and secondly, the family members' ambivalence about continuity and change in their everyday lives. Family members are found to apply the adapting, the representing, or the avoiding strategy, indirectly also influencing their interaction with the care manager. Siblings applied the adapting strategy, spouses the representing strategy, while family members in the younger generation at times switched between the strategies.